...it would look something like this.
"Pride and Prejudice" News Feed
Charles Bingley is checking out real estate in Hertfordshire.
Mrs. Bennet became a fan of single men of good fortune.
Kitty Bennet has a cough.
Mr. Bennet is tired.
Nine of your friends are attending The Meryton Assembly.
Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley are now friends.
Fitzwilliam Darcy is so over this.
Elizabeth Bennet is tolerable, but not tempting.
Mr. Bennet politely requests that, next time, Bingley sprain his ankle after the first dance.
Mrs. Bennet joined the group Insulted Mothers Against Pompous Paramours.
Elizabeth Bennet would streak Meryton before she'd dance with Mr. Darcy.
Jane Bennet is attending A Girls' Luncheon at Netherfield.
Jane Bennet removed "riding horseback in the rain" from her interests.
Elizabeth Bennet is walking to Netherfield.
Fitzwilliam Darcy likes what exercise does to the ladies.
Elizabeth Bennet is tired of social niceties.
Elizabeth Bennet poked Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Fitzwilliam Darcy poked Elizabeth Bennet.
Fitzwilliam Darcy added "feisty girls with crazy families" to his interests.
Caroline Bingley wishes the earth would open up and swallow Longbourn whole.
Lydia Bennet is SOLDIERS SOLDIERS SOLDIERS!!!
Mr. Collins is looking to change his relationship status.
Elizabeth Bennet and George Wickham are now friends.
George Wickham is a fan of slander, but he's totally not intimidated.
Fitzwilliam Darcy is attending A Ball at Netherfield.
George Wickham is not attending A Ball at Netherfield.
Elizabeth Bennet would have preferred streaking Meryton.
Jane Bennet tagged six of your friends in the note "How to Go Out in Public Without Humiliating Your Family."
Charles Bingley changed his relationship status to "It's complicated."
Mr. Collins thinks his cousin's modesty adds to her perfections, and is thus by no means discouraged.
Mr. Collins needs a new place to crash.
Caroline Bingley will not be looking back on her way to London.
George Wickham is making excuses.
Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins are engaged.
Jane Bennet thinks London might make for a nice change of scenery.
Charlotte Lucas created the event Please Visit Hunsford Before I Strangle My Husband.
Elizabeth Bennet is on her way to the parsonage.
Colonel Fitzwilliam wonders why Darcy is dragging him to Rosings.
Mr. Collins is *thrilled* to be dining at Rosings, bathed in the generosity of her ladyship's spirit.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh must have her share of the conversation!
Fitzwilliam Darcy's heart is arm-wrestling his common sense. And it's winning.
Elizabeth Bennet joined the group Consider Civility in Declarations of Love.
Fitzwilliam Darcy tagged Elizabeth Bennet in his note A Faithful Narrative.
Elizabeth Bennet just is.
Lydia Bennet is following the SOLDIERS to Brighton!!$%@#!
Elizabeth Bennet is touring Derbyshire.
Elizabeth Bennet became a fan of Pemberly.
Fitzwilliam Darcy is hopeful.
Elizabeth Bennet is uncomfortable.
Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet are now friends.
Lydia Bennet changed her relationship status to hahahahaha-wheeeeeee!!
Jane Bennet tagged Elizabeth Bennet in her note Come Home!
Fitzwilliam Darcy joined the group Gentlemen Against George Wickham: The Sequel.
Mrs. Bennet is a fan of overwrought weeping in bedchambers.
Lydia Bennet and George Wickham are now married.
Lydia Bennet Wickham removed "keeping secrets" from her interests.
Mrs. Gardiner tagged Elizabeth Bennet in her note He's Not Just Doing This Out of the Goodness of His Heart.
Charles Bingley is headed back to Netherfield.
Mrs. Bennet wants nothing more than for Bingley to shoot her birds.
Elizabeth Bennet wonders why the silent, grave and indifferent bother to show up at all.
Charles Bingley and Fitzwilliam Darcy are attending Dinner at Longbourn.
Mrs. Bennet invites you to hang Kitty.
Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley are engaged.
Elizabeth Bennet removed "meddling aunts" from her interests.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh doesn't understand when people refuse to bow in the face of her awesomeness.
Fitzwilliam Darcy added "meddling aunts" to his interests.
Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy walked on without knowing in what direction.
Seven of your friends joined the group "Lizzy and Darcy are Getting Married!"
Mr. Bennet is quite at leisure.